My plans after the election

I think I am gonna change things up around here after this brutal campaign season.

These last few months, it seems I have spent too much time sitting at my kitchen counter reading and writing, then writing and reading some more.  Actually, I plan to keep doing that.  But I am planning on much of the tabloid style content that has been overwhelming my readers to fizzle out in the days and week’s that follow November 8.

That way, I can restake my claim as the edgy smart aleck who isn’t afraid to write about the tough topics.  “Tough” means difficult in this context, as opposed to the “distasteful” version of the word that has been the norm lately.

Next, I am going to get out of the house more.  I have been thinking about this constitutional right to hunt and fish referendum a lot lately. I remember taking certain liberties as a young man when there were fish to catch, and nothing but a “no trespassing” sign between me and a particularly good looking spot on the water. Of course that’s a property law issue more than constitutional one.

Still though, I wonder what happens if the elephants at the Indianapolis Zoo break through their barrier and start a stampede down Washington Street.  Would this new amendment give me the right to take a shot at them like that idiot dentist who killed Cecil the Lion?

img_0155I am an outdoorsman.  As proof, here I am in August with a couple of pretty good smallmouth bass my son and I caught simultaneously.  Of course, the context is lost because we did this in Canada, where healthcare is “free” but fishing is expensive.

In any case, I plan to renew my Zoo membership that expired a couple of months ago, and while I am there, I’m gonna talk to the people over there about this constitutional crisis someone has created. Hopefully, my video team will come with me.

After my Zoo trip, I plan on going to Chicago. I am going to find Keith Cooper and shake his hand. Google “Keith Cooper” if you don’t know who he is.  I am going to help him, his family and friends plan the party to celebrate his pardon.  I predict it will be a January party. And if they won’t let me help plan it, maybe they will let me attend.  I promise to behave.

Post-election, I am going to start riding the bus in Indianapolis. I work a little more than a mile from my house.  Also within a mile are my two grocery stores, most of my favorite restaurants, my two gyms and our three yoga studios.  I got a new vehicle two weeks ago. It still has the new car smell. But I don’t need a car. It might be a waste of money that rivals Anthony Castanzo’s signing bonus.  Though I must admit the new stereo in it rocks.

Finally, I’m going to buy my first tuxedo. For someone about to turn fifty who prefers wearing shorts and flip flops to bow ties or ascots, this might seem like an odd thing to buy. But unlike my new car, I need the tux.

I have an inaugural ball to go to in January. I have been saying it since late last year that John Gregg will be our next governor. I have been to soirees like this before and they usually suck.  But I won’t miss this party.  I predicted the victory in my book–which only matters because I can now never take it back.

I am proud of John and the campaign he and his team have run.  I wrote in the book back in May: “The most important thing that Gregg  will do and Pence won’t, is listen.” He ended up running against Eric Holcomb instead of Mike Pence, but the reasons for his victory this Tuesday did not change when his opponent did.

One might ask: why buy a tux instead of continuing to rent after all these years? Because I plan on needing one more than I used to.

I am planning on having things to celebrate.  We all should. I heard a friend describe me as “optimistic” earlier this year and it caught me off guard. I guess I just didn’t see myself that way. But it turns out my friend was right.

I believe that things are pretty good around here, and for those times and places that they aren’t, there seems to be solutions available. For what more could we ask?

Wednesday the 9th is the first day of the rest of our lives. It arrives just in the nick of time as it often does.

I have big plans.  I hope all of you do too.